THE MISERY OF PI

What a circus! What a racket! What monstrous incompetence! What an abundant display of lack of humanity! What a shameful show of nonsentience! The enervative effects, and the misery, of pi that is the government of Nigeria are beyond estimation. If there ever was any doubt in any rational human being's mind of Jonathan's irrational state of mind and the diminutive state of his moral being, I'm certain those are now well and truly dispelled. I am no psychologist and I don't pretend, for one moment, to be one. However, it seems to me that Jonathan himself is slowly coming to the realization that he has no relevance; a pawn in a great game of political chess being played out at the expense of ordinary Nigerians. 

I can hear someone groan that this is a bit personal! Are you kidding me? Allow me to share with you what is personal! A graduate of many years standing who has never had a job is 'personal'. A pensioner who has never received a single kobo, and dying of a preventable disease is 'personal'. An ordinary Nigerian butchered by armed robbers, sentencing his/her family to a lifetime of grief is 'personal'. An ordinary Nigerian killed due to the almost unusable state of our roads is 'personal'. Well-meaning Nigerians being slaughtered on a daily basis by Boko Haram is 'personal'. A businessman who, due to the lack of power supply to run his business profitably in order to feed and educate his offspring, got bankrupted is 'personal'. A citizen that cannot be certain of a decent meal a day is 'personal'. Common criminals lording it over Nigerians is 'personal'. Our law courts being turned into auction houses where the highest bidder can be certain of favourable judgements is 'personal'. Nigerians plummeting to their deaths due to scantily maintained aircraft is 'personal'. A system where a man was sentenced to death by hanging for a N1, 705 (and tins of milk worth N400) robbery attack while politicians, public officials and corrupt businessmen looting trillions of Naira swagger is personal. I could go on but I'm confident the gist is obvious.

I read, with not a little distress, the transcripts of Jonathan's third so-called Presidential Media Chat, and I  marvelled at this man's capacity for spewing foolish, reckless and soporific garbage. A man presiding over an economy accelerating down the drain with foreign reserves depleted to below $38billion; a bank lending rate of 22%; domestic debt at an insane level of N5.6 trillion; an inflation rate of 22% and that's even a conservative estimate; an unemployment rate at a very conservative 37%; and a poverty index of 60.9% (a sickening 156th position out of 187 countries); coming out with such drivel is way beyond the scope of human comprehension. I just refuse to recap what he brazenly mouthed because I refuse to be associated with such insolent trash and also because it is in the public domain. It is one thing to be cerebrally-challenged, it is another to be at odds with reality: the 'Jonathanic' tragedy is that he is both. Shackled by cerebral limitations; incarcerated by a barren intellect, cocooned by a mob whose only expertise is in acquisitive crime, whose immorality is immortal. One couldn't possibly hate Jonathan's guts; he hasn't got any!
Evo Morales, the Bolivian President, abandoned his trip to Rio+20 because of violent protests sparked by a Police pay dispute. Our Jonathan had the audacity to defend his decision to attend the summit (with allegedly the largest entourage, totalling well over a hundred!) while his country was in the throes of economic, social and political  meltdown. Even his louche Information Minister (Labaran Maku) insisted Jonathan could run the affairs of state from anywhere, regardless of the myriad of problems at home! Can you imagine? Jonathan unintuitively (as per form, I may add) claimed that his non-attendance would have sent the wrong signals to the international community; that it would be the end of Nigeria if the international community thought he couldn't travel because of Boko Haram! Believe that? In the same vein, he said he hadn't visited Maiduguri in Borno State (the sitting room of Boko Haram) because the airport was 'not functioning' and he couldn't risk to go in by helicopter! A President who has personal 'no-go' areas in the country he presides over. That's Jonathan for you. His life is worth a lot more than the hundreds of victims of Boko Haram; he's more worried about his own security than those of the citizens he purports to serve. Incredible stupidness, to say the least. With the same brave face, he claimed he sacked Dr. Bello Haliru Mohammed (Minister of Defence) and General Andrew Owoye Azazi (National Security Adviser) not because they failed to adequately perform, but because of a shift in tactics. So, every time there's to be a shift in tactics, such high-level changes have to be made. To cap it all, he promised his 'fellow' Nigerians that they would begin to reap the benefits of his efforts as from next year. I've seen pigs fly! A classic case of pi being showcased by the peerless pi President. His oral incontinence is surely a prelude to his political seppuku. His delusions even surpass the derisions he attracts. It's only a matter of time.