COG TO CLOG

Yes, we're all fatigued by endless editorials and comments about the moribund state of our statehood. 

Yes, we  have a confused, helpless, hapless, inept, compromised tenant in Aso Rock; who, for good measure, is also a moral, intellectual and political eunuch.

Yes, our country is one of the most insecure in the world, with one of the most corrupt judicial and political establishments; where anyone under investigation for corruption can hire thugs by the bus load to blockade the offices of his interrogators and protest on the streets.

Yes, our country is the only one in the world where its Central Bank governor can make cash donations at his whim, doling out our money as if it belonged to his family.

Yes, our country is the only one in the world where the National Assembly spends more than 90% of its legislative time probing improprieties, with zilch success rate.

Yes, our country is, arguably, the only one in the world where one may justifiably assert that there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

Yes, our country may be all of the above, but it is still our country. We are desperate, yes; we're hopeless, no.

All the odds are stacked up high against us as a nation, but they are not insurmountable. This government has been all over the place, will always be all over the place. This President has made more vows than all the nuns in the world combined; has made a million times more promises than the worst liar known to man; and he's the only man I know that is capable of sending fish to sleep with his uninspiring speeches and sheepish demeanour. The longer we pay his rent in Aso Rock, the longer our road to recovery. He is a failure who sought cover by appointing, largely, incompetents and egotistic has-beens to his cabinet; party loyalists with zero-rated intelligence form the core of policy makers. Stumbling from one disaster to another, he has single-handedly exposed us to worldwide ridicule; we have become a basket case. What did we ever do to deserve this bad luck, Goodluck?

There's nothing you can do to redeem yourself, unless, may be, you turn water into wine. How could you punch above your weight when you couldn't even punch below it? You stumbled into power, so please, kindly stumble back out. Enough damage has been done, so please leave us to lick our wounds. We thought you were a dream but you turned out to be the worst nightmare imaginable. Under you, insecurity multiplied a million fold; under you, corruption became a religion; under you, despair became a way of life; under you, Jonathan, fear became an inescapable fact of life. You are a victim of yourself, stop making us your victims. We are tired of our people dying needless deaths. We want rid of the threat of terrorism among us. We want thieving politicians and officials swiftly punished and their loot recovered. We want corrupt judges thrown off the bench and shamed. We want our Police Force to be fit for purpose. We want to put a stop to the wastage and excesses of government. We want our youth to stop roaming the streets and selling their bodies, and their souls, in order to survive. We want faith restored in our health and education systems.

Jonathan, when you eventually go, threnodies shall be replaced by paeans; cheers shall supersede tears; and the usurpation of arbitrariness over accountability shall be overturned. You were a cog who became a clog.